I have a separate bank account, she gives me an allowance (from my own paycheck) because I’m like a drunken sailor with money. Married 30 years so it’s worked out, no hiding necessary.
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I don’t think it’s a good idea to hide your purchases. If you can afford it and you enjoy it, it’s okay to have an expensive hobby and you should be able to discuss that openly. If you’re broke and struggling to make rent, and you’re off secretly buying high end audio equipment… you’re just hiding from responsibility and accountability.
Sometimes if I have a lot of headphones in one place my girlfriend will sarcastically say stuff like “Do you have enough headphones!?” and I’ll take it literally and say “Hmm, yeah I was wondering that too… Maybe I should get another pair!”.
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My wife understands that this is what I want and has been encouraging at times. At first she questioned the amount of headphones I had and used to ask ‘another one?’ if she answers the door. Now, it’s far past that stage and she doesn’t question anything. For a while, I used to get equipment delivered at an Amazon locker at my work, partly because I don’t want to be questioned but also because I rather have it secured than sitting hours on my porch. Though at this point, the things I’m looking for are less likely to be on Amazon.
She has her collections, and it is by far more reasonable. Though the biggest difference is her stuff is featured nice and neatly on a dedicated display shelf. Mine is all over my desk in an unorganized fashion. She wants me to get a shelf to organize my headphones, but I don’t bother.
Tldr, she is more annoyed by my wire hell than anything else.
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This does not work well for the relationship, but I have sort of done this. I ordered and didn’t say anything and waited until she found out. It was not good, by any means.
I apologized, then ordered 58X Jubilee’s.
Somehow we are still married.
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